The Litterate Litterbug


Beware! Beware of the litterbug! Have you seen him today? Yes, that man, that man in striped white and black trousers, a crisp white shirt tucked in and a black coat over it. His half bald head shining in its crowning glory. He is watching everything but he will ignore anything and everything that will stop him from doing his “job”. He has qualities that you will fear to possess. He is shameless, lazy and stubborn and he has a duty towards the nation, he call it an art, the art of “littering”. He is a certified litterate.

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For him, the road, the walls and any open space outside his house is a white canvas where he loves splashing his colors with intricate physical gestures. His favourite art is peeing on the walls, especially on those that comes with a warning ” Yahaan peshab karna mana hai!” To him it is like spray painting. He loves to pee on the walls of the children’s park, outside the school walls and even outside his office walls too. He is a keen shooter. He has mastered the art throwing things in wrong places with utmost accuracy. Thanks to his dedication in learning the art since he was 5! He is allergic to dust bins and he will never risk his health by using it. Every morning, he will fill his office bag with garbage and on his way to his office. He will show his shooting skills on the road. He would mumble “here goes the tissue paper near the cake shop, here goes the banana peel near the post office and here goes the plastic bag right in front of the library entrance.”

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He is a real babu moshai, he loves chewing paan . You will find his mouth constantly chewing paan like a cow chewing the cud and he will spit in every 5 minutes.  You want to get your house painted? Don’t worry, we have our babu moshai at your service! Give him two days and you will find even the nosiest aunty of your neighbourhood admiring the art he did with his spit on the white-washed walls of your house. Dare to ask him about  the Swachh Bharat campaign? I tried once, he said “It is the duty of the government, why do we elect our ministers for if we had to work for the betterment for the country? Sorry, I’m already preoccupied with my own work”. Of course Sir! this is why I say, do not underestimate the power of a litterbug!

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 So what, if our Prime Minister, Shree Narendra Modi  is trying hard to make India a better and cleaner place. So what if most of the people are supporting the government for the same. The litterbug is one of its kind. He is free to follow his heart. His heart beats for the love of art. He is an artist and staying away from art is blasphemous. Impose heavy fine on him, put him jail or insult him publicly, I bet you can’t change him. He is the boss of his “trash-cratic” world- of the trash, for the trash and obviously by the trash!

This post is a part of The Great Indian Litterbug Happy Hour campaign in association with Indiblogger.

Images: 1, 2, 3

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